Giving Freely

Her name is Anna.

Or so she said. She walked up to me in a Walmart parking lot as if I was someone she knew. She said she needed money to help feed her grandkids. I apologized because I truly didn't have any cash on me but I said I was willing to help her buy a few things.

We started walking toward the store, my youngest flanked me to my left. Anna asked how old my grandson was. I introduced "my son" and told her his name. She said hello.

She revealed she had recently moved here from Buffalo to be closer to her mom but two days prior her mom had died in a nursing home.

Anna began to cry.

I put my arm around her and tried to comfort her. I asked her a couple of questions. I was emotionally invested now. (How would I feel if I had just lost my mom?)  I asked what she was going to do now. Would she move back to Buffalo? Anna said no. I asked if she had other family in the area. She said no.

Older woman, down on her luck, no money, trying to feed her grandkids. I really didn't need to know much more.

My first desire was to physically take her shopping. Get a cart - fill it up with good nourishing food and pay for it. In that scenario I would have known exactly what my money was used for and be assured it wasn't going for "other" things.

I recall the story of my aunt in California who years ago was asked by a person on the street if she could spare some money. My aunt asked if he was hungry - he said yes. She personally took him to a nearby restaurant for lunch. Hard earned money well spent. No drugs. No brown bag alcohol.

But, for me, the other day I didn't have the time for an intimate shopping trip. I had to get home and make dinner so I could take my oldest to work. Plus, I was feeling pretty guilty about having my youngest tagging along for this. I mean we are always preaching stranger danger and here we were walking and talking with a complete stranger. I was nervous.

I couldn't remember if there was an ATM in the store so I decided to get cash back at a register. I asked her how much money she needed to buy groceries. A simple bag of potato chips at the check out allowed me to complete this transaction. She was very appreciative. Anna hugged me and thanked me. I told her I would keep her in my prayers then she went on her way.

My son looked up at me and said, "Mom, that was very nice of you." But I was torn. It would have been one thing to have been by myself for this experience but I truly wondered what I had taught my son. I want him to be safe and make safe choices as he gets older. I want him to help people who are in need but I don't want him to be taken advantage of. I truly didn't know if I'd just been had.

I tried to explain to him that based on the clues her story seemed believable. Long winter coat - much needed in Buffalo. Crooked teeth - possibly an indication of lack of money for dental care. Willing to stand at a self check out with a camera recording the transaction - nothing to hide.

My son and I decided to leave it at that. I explained that Jesus knew Judas was going to betray him and yet he still invited him to the Last Supper to break bread and share his company. While that story brought me some comfort - I kept replaying the previous couple minutes in my head trying to justify my action.

As my son and I made it to the check out, with our items, my little guy said to me, "I'm glad I'm nine-years-old and I don't have to worry about these kinds of things." I told him being an adult is hard but I believe we did the right thing. It is the right thing to help others but it is also good to proceed cautiously.

As we were leaving, I kept an eye out for Anna - succumbing to my curiosity and wonderment if she was talking to another unsuspecting customer. I did catch her talking briefly to a bearded man exiting the checkout but then she disappeared from site.

I had to leave it there. I initially wanted to contact the store just to alert them in case this was a scam. But I had to let it go. I probably will never know how Anna's story plays out. I wish her the best and hope she is able to get back on her feet and find peace after her mother's passing. But I also pray for the well being of my son - that as he gets older he will be able to safely help those experiencing unfortunate circumstances.

I hope my example did not set a precedent for his kind heart to be taken advantage of. It is a tough world we live in and it is unfortunate that helping someone "in need" is followed by feelings of uncertainly and distrust. A few years ago, a story came out about a homeless man who was collecting money along Route 22 in Monroeville who ended up having a million dollar home.

The blog Be More With Less by Courtney Carver tackles this topic. "Let go of your need to decide who deserves what. That’s not your job, or responsibility. It feels good to give without judgement."

So I guess that is where this story ends. I am glad that I had the means to be able to help Anna. But there is another possible take away from this encounter.  If there comes a day when my son is experiencing hard times, and he is alone, which, obviously, I hope is never the case, maybe he'll remember this day and know there are people out there who will help him - all he has to do is ask.