A Three Letter Word

It's a skill I'm not too good at unfortunately.

I've been told so by my own sister.

"You are NOT a good hugger," she says. And that is true - to some extent. I'm not sure when that happened or why but I am sure that when I was 3 and running around in my Wonder Women Underoos, I probably loved to hug.

Fast forward 15 years and there was a guy (a younger Richard Dreyfuss looking character) on my college campus who that was his thing. He hugged. Looking back on it I guess it seems a bit weird and maybe he was looking for more than I realized but he hugged everyone. And they were the kind of bear hugs that were comforting, soothing so far from home. I would see him around campus. "Anthony!" I would say and we would embrace and then be on our way.

Don't get me wrong. I can get a good squeeze on with my kiddos and my husband but for some reason with everyone else I am self conscious of my hugs and maybe this is a topic for a future therapy session.

I have been doing a lot of hugging lately now that I work with 5-year-olds at a school. Maybe for this fact alone I am getting better at it but for confirmation I will have to ask my sister. These little kiddos I work with like to hug, hold hands and some even sit on my lap.( I have been sick every few weeks since I started this new job and I think my hand holding may be the root of the problem.) But I do not shy from showing affection.

Some of the best hugs I've received have been in the last couple months. I am not sure what it is but these little ones know how to do it. No restraint - no second guessing. If they are moved to hug they do it. When we got back from Christmas break, in the first few minutes I was at school a little girl came up and hugged me and said "Happy New Year!"  My heart was full.

A few days ago, a little guy who gets frustrated daily with his limitations and the challenge of the day to day work (and sometimes isn't very nice) gave me a big embrace unexpectedly at dismissal. It was almost as if he knew I needed that to make up for his defiant behavior earlier that day. Again, my heart was full.

I have one little girl who says "tight squeeze" before the multiple hugs she gives me each day. For a 5-year-old, this gal can apply some pressure and after the third one I've typically reached my hug quota, but I try to be a good sport for hug 4,5 and 6.

I know that people are more affectionate in other cultures and that Americans often seem guarded. In fact, Pennsylvania's second lady Gisele Fetterman, who is from Brazil,  greets everyone with a hug - first thing. I know this from experience as a former member of the media. "I'm a hugger," she says. 

There is something to be said for human touch. I greeted a friend with a hug the other day and she said, "Boy, I needed that." It made me feel good to make someone else feel good. Especially knowing my reputation as a bad hugger. It is nice to tell people that you appreciate them but it is also good to SHOW them you appreciate them and sometimes a hug is just the thing.

So my challenge to you this week - give someone a hug. A good heartfelt squeeze and see what happens. It might be just what is needed to turn someone's day around.