Disappointed

Here we are a little over a month into my blog and I must say I'm a little disappointed. I really had hoped to make some progress in making myself a priority but who am I kidding. I am trying to keep the glass half full by looking at the couple of firsts I did have over the past 5 weeks. Even though they were not on the list of things I wanted to do, I am making them count.

I did get a facial which I did allude to in an earlier post. The experience was awesome and the $60 in product I bought is a gift that keeps on giving...just got credit card statement. I do feel good that I am using something expensive and Hungarian on my face each day. (Of course my husband would argue that he's Hungarian and could whip up something for free!) I think I may thin it out too much with water to make it last longer, so that may diminish its benefits. I try hard to look at my reflection and say, "Wow, that shit makes me look like I'm in my 20's!" I know it is not true but I haven't used the mask that came with the travel sized kit yet. So awesome results may be in my future. Maybe I'll wait until I'm 6 months from 40 for that. Looks like I have a date in March.

I also saw my husband and son perform together in a band. Ok, not a real band but one I put together just for my daughter's 9th birthday. She had a rock n' roll themed party and I thought it would be awesome to get my musically inclined relatives to perform her favorite One Direction song, "What Makes You Beautiful." I can't believe how my cousins and inlaws came together for this occasion. We had my brother-in-law on keyboard, my cousin's son on drums and her soon to be fiancé on guitar, my other cousin's husband on vocals, my husband on bass and my son on cello. They practiced individually but rehearsed the day of the party. Even though I was semi pissed when it was time for the show, because I had been running the party solo upstairs while the Miller Lites were flowing in the garage, it really was worth it. My daughter loved it and so did all the party people. I was so proud of everyone but especially my husband and my son. Both are very shy and came out of their comfort zones to make a little girl happy. This was my dream and I made it happen...this makes me feel young and hip and so...rock n' roll.

I may not have been doing what I wanted to do over the past month, my 5k or taking an art class but I have been busy. Rediscovering myself has to involve the person I am now, a wife and mother. Finding ways to be myself within these roles is what makes the journey tricky. Being satisfied with what I am able to achieve within my current constraints is what I struggle with.