Seeing the world through the eyes of a five-year-old boy can be enlightening. My youngest child is, in a word - challenging. As many have said over the years he is "your typical boy". He is rough and tumble, a ball of non-stop energy and very independent. I have seen him pin to the ground his teenage brother. But on the flip side, I have seen the gentler side of this young man, through a character I call "Little Daddy" and his baby Flower.
I am not sure when he started playing with Flower, a left over baby doll from his older sister. She was never into dolls like many little girls. Don't get me wrong. She was into princesses and playing house, but did not play with Barbies or doll babies. She preferred stuffed animals and her favorite animal changed quarterly.
This doll did not get much playing time even though she had her own stroller and high chair. She is one of a few toys kept out for when younger cousins come to play. About a year ago, my little guy kind of adopted her and gave her a name. I tried to throw out some other possibilities, thinking that name was already taken by a skunk in a Disney film, but his mind was made up.
I wasn't sure what to do about my son playing with a doll. People have different feelings about this subject and it can get tricky. My oldest son had a small Emily Elizabeth doll, you know, the owner of the big red dog Clifford? Emily went everywhere with us and amazingly, she has lasted long enough to make it into his keep sake box.
When you have a unique "lovey" that probably cannot be replaced, it can be scary when it gets lost. We lost Emily quite a few times and one time it appeared she was gone for good. It was after a family member had been babysitting. My husband and I tore the house apart and no Emily. At one point we decided to take a break and get a refreshing glass of ice water. When I opened the freezer, there was Emily.
It was upsetting to see my son's doll in the freezer. I knew my kid could not reach up that high and an adult was responsible for Emily's trip to the Arctic. I cannot remember if I addressed this issue with the babysitter, but I tried to understand where he was coming from. Some people find it unacceptable for boys to play with dolls thinking it might lead to something less manly, but now, watching my youngest play with Flower, I can see that it might lead to something very manly - growing up to become a great dad.
My son treats Flower very tenderly unlike his other toys. He holds her carefully and takes his time when he dresses her, so as not to hurt her. Watching him cradle her in his arms is one of the sweetest things. He tries to console her when she is "crying" and tells her "it's ok. I'm here."
Just this morning, I was up early to get some writing done. I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. It was my son and Flower. He said she had had a bad dream so he decided to wake up and stay with her. I encouraged him to go back to bed but he insisted on watching a show with her to calm her down.
The thing that is the greatest about watching the "Little Daddy" show is that I know the inspiration - my husband. Dads today have to be more hands on than ever with most families having two working parents. How many men do you see these days pushing strollers or sporting baby slings? Carrying diaper bags, dressing up for tea parties, walking around covered in glitter from the day's art project - these guys do it all.
My husband has been parenting with me every step of the way, except of course, the breastfeeding part. I would be dead tired and have to get up for a 2 a.m. feeding and he would sympathize and say "I wish I could help more", then roll over and go back to sleep. I did not resent him - for long.
It is reassuring to see parenting through the eyes of child. Seeing the tenderness, compassion and love shown by my son makes me hopeful that if he is called to be a dad, he will rise to the occasion. It also makes me happy that with the craziness of family life, and we all know at times it can be far from the Donna Reed Show, it is love that he seems to be taking away.
Who knows what the future has in store, but lucky for Flower and I, Little Daddy is here and making sure everything is all right.
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