For Everyone Except You

This is the time of year when sweets are front and center stage. Christmas cookies, gingerbread houses, candy canes - it is like December is an all access pass to Sugar Town. I will not lie to you. I am pretty much the mayor of that town and I do indulge myself, within reason. Just last week, I took a photo of a chocolate cake and made it the lock screen on my phone. Yes, I've got it bad.

But something happened to me recently that made me think about the others. Those who cannot indulge because of a food allergy. The nut allergy has become something so common that there are special sections in some school cafeterias where kids with the allergy have to sit. It has also become an issue, at least in my school district, that prohibits homemade or store bought treats from being brought to school for birthdays or holiday parties. Everything is handled by the food service company to ensure the utmost safety during special occasions.

I remember when my son was in preschool and the teachers passed out a list of recommended treats to be brought in for snack day. We were told to check labels and look for the mention of nuts or items made in a facility that processes nuts. I remember hearing some parents complain about having to take these extra steps. You don't really think about it unless your kid is affected and since my children do not have food allergies, I never really understood what some families go through.

For the past decade or so, my repertoire of homemade Christmas delights has included chocolate covered pretzels. I have always loved them, especially the red bag of Sarris pretzels. Prior to me making them myself, I thought they were time consuming and difficult. But a couple relatives, who made them and passed them out as tasty parting gifts after a holiday visit, convinced me they were easy and I should give it a go.  One year I did and I never looked back.

They are nice to give out to teachers, friends, and co-workers. In fact, I started making them for the other students in my kids' dance group. We pass out treat bags each year at our Christmas party and my pretzels always got a compliment or two - some of those came from my own kids who get to enjoy the leftover melted chocolate and broken pieces.

We have a little girl in our group who has a dairy allergy. For the past couple years, she has not been able to eat the pretzels in her bag because of the milk in chocolate. (I was not aware of this until recently.) Her mother is really good about trying to provide treats her daughter can eat whenever there is food involved at any of our practices and gatherings since unlike nuts - milk is in a lot of stuff.

At our November parent meeting, we talked about the items we would be putting in the treat bags. Someone asked if I could make my pretzels again, which I was happy to do, until the mom pointed out that her daughter couldn't eat them. I didn't think it was such a big deal at first. There are other items in the bag. But then I thought about this sweet little girl having to be told, 'No, honey. You cannot eat those,' while watching her other friends, and possibly her sister, chomping like crazy. If I was going to make them I knew I would have to actively check the ingredients and try to find some sort of dairy free chocolate to use. Was there even such a thing?

I made a call to the store where I buy my chocolate and they told me they did not have anything I could use. I went to another store and found a couple baking bars that contained milk powder, wondering if that would be ok but after contacting the mom, I found out they were not. She did provide me with two items I could try - a dark chocolate bar at Aldi and special chocolate chip morsels sold at Giant Eagle.

I was a little apprehensive about using the morsels since they were different from what I normally use. But they melted really well and the only difference I noticed working with it, is that it took a little longer for the chocolate to set. As for the taste, my daughter and my husband cleaned out the left over chocolate bowl and said they could not taste a difference.

The night of our Christmas party I was distracted when Santa came to pass out the presents. It was a bowling party so many of us parents were trying to save face and knock some pins down. But before the party was over, I was caught off guard when the arms of a seven year old suddenly wrapped around my waist. With eyes twinkling and a wide smile she said, " Thank you for the pretzels, Kristen." Her mom explained how happy her daughter was when she asked if she could eat them and was told yes. (Which probably does not happen as often as her parents would like.)

That moment has been replayed so many times in my mind since that night. Her hug made me feel really good. For parents of kids who do not have food allergies we might not always think to ask the right questions when food is being provided to a group. This can cause hurt feelings and force parents to pick up the pieces when their kid is upset because they cannot eat what everyone else is eating.

This experience helped me to realize there are alternative ingredients and recipes out there to consider. A little modification on my part avoided any unintended exclusion. I am thankful to this mom for being a great advocate for her kid and also for bringing awareness to a condition that affects more people than we realize. Chocolate covered pretzels should only cause tears when there aren't any left not because someone cannot eat them.

A recent batch of pretzels with dairy free chocolate

A Truly Black Friday

The decline has been happening for years. Empty store fronts multiplying, huge vacant parking lots, non-existent crowds, but as of last year Century III Mall was still somewhere you could get some decent Black Friday shopping in.

Besides the only two anchor stores, JCPenny and Dick’s, there was still a Claire’s, Bath and Body Works, Bradley’s Books, FYE, Things Remembered and Victoria’s Secret. In addition, there was Cash In Culture - a vintage video game and toy store.

Yes, the throngs of people from Black Friday circa 1986 were no longer the norm, but younger shoppers weren’t around for that and didn’t know better. Older shoppers like myself, were happy to get some of the great deals and still be able to breathe.

But this year it was different. The anchor stores were open, but the mall didn’t open until 8 a.m. That wasn’t too bad. My family and I were able to do a couple laps around Penny’s, check out the sale items and get into the holiday spirit. But once the Red Sea parted and the steel doors opened, a sad reality was revealed.

First, the sounds of the seasons slipped into soft rock hits. While I love America every now and then, I was not in the mood to hear about a horse with no name. I wanted to hear about a reindeer called Rudolph. Then I noticed FYE was gone – empty – closed up. Claire’s also gone. Cash In Culture a thing of the past. Yes, Things Remembered was still there, which in my opinion is appropriate. Century III is a thing I remember and oh, what great memories.


I am pretty sure my first recollection of going to that spectacular mall was with my mom and my best friend, Amy, who was visiting from New Jersey. I was probably 9 maybe 10 and I remember the sights, the sounds - the excitement. It was like something out of this world and I loved being there.

The mall was so big! The multiple levels meant you couldn’t possibly take everything in, but we tried. One store that stood out for me was called Heaven.  The one image I took away from that place was naked Barbie type dolls that you could dress yourself. Again, appropriate the store was called Heaven because the mall was a celestial experience.

I also remember going Christmas shopping there as a teen. I had a wallet full of paper route tips and I was able to buy gifts for each of my family members on my own. My Catholic school chum, Melissa, and I spent the day at the mall, which appeared to have been decorated by one of Santa’s elves. We bought lots of gifts and I probably got my usual hot fudge sundae at the Dairy Queen. The only item I remember taking home that day was Billy Joel’s USSR concert album for my brother, purchased at National Record Mart. This album is currently in my possession. I wonder if he wants it back now that it could be worth a few dollars more than I paid for it?

Going to Century III Mall this past Black Friday was sad. I know that was it for us. It was nice that for the past couple of years my family and I took advantage of this withered gem and made some memories of our own. My two oldest children truly enjoyed going there and were able to appreciate what existed without having any idea of the majesty it once contained.

Who knows what is in store for the mall. I have heard different things from possible hotel to hospital space to entertainment complex. My only hope is that it becomes something that attracts people from all over like Century III Mall did. It was an amazing place and I am glad it was part of my childhood. Now for some reason I am hungry for a Cinnabon.

Can You Taste It?

The struggle is real. The longing is intense. The craving has been building for the past month and I am seriously counting the days until I am bloated with the afterthoughts of turkey, stuffing and four kinds of potatoes. Yes, I know...Pilgrims, Indians, harvest celebration, but the smells, tastes and beautiful sight of my family's Thanksgiving meal is something I am most grateful for.

It is weird, but for as much as I enjoy turkey dinner, I only partake maybe twice a year. I think subconsciously I feel if I have it more often I won't appreciate it when the special day in November arrives. Every family has their own traditions and recipes that have been handed down and I have to say as much as I love, and have eaten, an entire box of Stove Top  - I would walk a million miles for my mom's stuffing. Yes, she is one of those people who cook it inside the bird and I know some may find that gross, but I try not to think about the logistics.

I like the stuffing that sits on the outside of the turkey the best. The part that gets a little browner than the rest and has a little crunch to it. To this day, my brother and I hover over the turkey, hot and steaming - freshly snatched from the oven, waiting for my dad to cut up the meat. Dad will put the stuffing in a bowl and, with mouths watering, two grown adults vie for that first chunk. We inspect the pieces looking for the crunchiest, the yummiest piece in all of stuffing town. Then we argue about who got the best piece. Ahh, Thanksgiving.

I have come to really appreciate the holiday because I have spent time away from home. When my husband and I were living in Virginia, we tried to plan our vacation days around holidays so we could come back to PA. But, for our first Thanksgiving away, that was not possible. We had not earned enough time off at our jobs to make that happen. I was beside myself because I was homesick and those damn Hallmark commercials were tearing me up. That year my parents brought Thanksgiving to us. They drove eight hours through a dangerous wintry mix stocked up with everything, including the turkey, to make a fine meal. It was a special holiday and one that we will never forget.

Another Thanksgiving we will not forget is the one when I announced I was pregnant. Before we dug into the meal, we went around the table saying what we were thankful for. During my turn, I happened to mention I was thankful that in eight months I was going to be a mom. My announcement postponed the eating portion of the holiday as hugs and tears where in order. The baby, my first born, was the first of my parents' five grandchildren.

We have been living back home for 13 years now. It is nice to look forward to the holiday and know there isn't a long drive involved. It is nice to know that my parents still host the dinner and I can help out making various sides or desserts and yes, there will be the beloved Rhodes Rolls on the table. When I was younger, my cousin and I used to sit around, after everyone had eaten, and enjoy the leftover buffet of rolls. We would just enjoy each others' company and talk over a plate of buttery fluffiness. My oldest son carries on that tradition today with or without company.

The holiday has changed over the years and the guest list is different. Cousins grow up and have their own families, in-laws are involved and some loved ones are throwing rolls across the dining room table in Heaven (a little shout out to my Uncle Harold).

My favorite part of Thanksgiving now is dessert and not due to the fact that my mom is the Bubba Gump of pumpkin. (She makes pumpkin cake, pumpkin roll, pumpkin cookies and pumpkin pie.) It is because that is when the original Bish 5 is all together, in addition to spouses and kids. My sister and her family join us, coming from their earlier meal, and we all enjoy the sweet bounty of unlimited treats. And we then argue about whether or not we should be listening to Christmas music.

Thanksgiving does get downplayed by the terribly commercialized holiday it preceeds, but the simplicity of turkey day is something to savor, especially the little things that are the ingredients for a recipe of treasured memories. 

Dad mashing his famous mashed potatoes!

Extra, Extra

Something happened today that went under the radar to most people who are reading this blog post. Today the new format of The Valley Mirror newspaper hit the shelves. This may not seem like a big deal, but to some, it is. The paper has looked the same for more than 25 years. Today it is different.

A little history of the paper...The Valley Mirror began publication in 1981, serving the communities of Homestead, Lincoln Place, Munhall, West Homestead, West Mifflin, and Whitaker. In 1999, it merged with the Braddock Free Press, which served the communities of Braddock, Braddock Hills, Chalfant, East Pittsburgh, Forest Hills, North Braddock, Rankin, and Swissvale.

I've been working at The Valley Mirror for a little over three years. It was considered a tabloid style paper - a smaller, more compact size. This week we bumped up to a broadsheet style which added a few inches to its size and cut back our number of pages from 24 to 14. When you look at the papers side by side you can see the difference. It is real.

My editor had to make a tough choice. Change is always difficult and hard copy newspapers are not exactly a hot commodity these days. Plus, a large portion of our readership is of an older demographic, who have come to expect a particular product. We get calls from readers complaining when the Crossword Puzzle is omitted on a heavy news week.

At a time when many print papers are going by the wayside or switching to only digital editions it is truly remarkable that a paper like ours is still chugging along... and for a mere 50 cents a copy! When a new edition is put to bed each week - our barebones staff breathes a grateful sigh of relief. Another one on the books!

We do not have a website. We sometimes do Facebook. I often mail out papers or make personal deliveries when people featured in an article do not live near a store that carries our paper. We have a couple thousand subscribers, many of whom live out of state - people who have moved out of town but still want news from back home. It is refreshing that something like this still exists. We are a dinosaur in a 21 century world, just waiting for the asteroid to crash.

My parents still lament the loss of their Daily News. The McKeesport paper was shut down almost two years ago. It was a daily paper and it contained local news, obituaries and happy ads that kept people connected. There have been a few outlets that have tried to fill the gap, but it is not the same. The online sources are often overlooked by an older population that is not going on the interwebs for their news. (Although there are some Baby Boomers who are hip to the information highway. Good for them because that's the way this bus is heading.)

Last night my editor sent me a photo of what the new front page looks like. It was a wonderful sight to behold. The photos are bigger and brighter. The text is a little bigger. There is more of an information buffet on the front page and is was hard to look away. Again, a sigh of relief. Maybe it will be ok. Maybe our readers will like this new format and adapt as life often calls us to do. Maybe, just maybe, they'll continue to pluck down their 50 cents each week keeping our rag vital within the communities we represent.

Just a moment ago, the phone rang in the office. It was one of our loyal subscribers. She said she just left the grocery store and there was a bit of a frenzy near The Valley Mirror newspaper rack. People were excited and talking about how good the paper looked. She couldn't wait to get her copy in the mail. She said we should have done this a long time ago.

 Maybe, just maybe, there is a future in this newspaper business.

Out with the old in with the new and improved Valley Mirror

Slow Down Girl!

Have you ever had the scary experience of losing your wallet? You know that moment of sheer terror when you realize someone could be enjoying an all expenses trip to Chick fil- A on you? Someone could be buying that iPhone you've been eyeing up and would buy if you didn't have a mortgage, car payment or kids.

Well, I had that moment over the weekend. I had been shopping at one of those club stores with my youngest. I borrowed my mom's membership card so I could get a few things for our upcoming church social. The trip was a little disappointing from the beginning. I got what I needed no problem, but the offerings in the free sample department were lacking. There were only a handful of stations (a considerable decrease from the last time I was there) and really nothing new I wanted to try. Airplane cookies and a Teriyaki meatball weren't doin' it for me last Saturday.

We walked through the toy section and got a jump start on a Christmas list before going through the checkout. I was holding my wallet (which has a wrist strap) and had my membership card out as per protocol. Unfortunately, I did not bring a purse and my pants did not have pockets. This means I was also holding my keys and my phone and I was about to be holding my receipt so I could pass through the smiley face checkpoint. (You know the guy that stands near the door to make sure the items in your buggy match the items on your receipt and then draws a smiley face on your paper?)

Walking through the parking lot I was still holding the receipt. I knew I had to keep it separate since I needed it for the church secretary. I put it behind the sun visor in the van and proceeded to unload my cart. While unloading, my mind was racing with all the things I had to do next, so let's just say concentration was not my strong suit at that moment. I put the buggy back and we were on our way. Half way down the road I started looking around the passenger seat for my wallet. Middle console - also no wallet. I pulled over and did a complete van check - no wallet. I knew I had to go back to the store.

For some reason I remained relatively calm. I was trying to convince myself that this wasn't really happening and if it was really happening there was going to be a happy ending. I think I even may have offered this little prayer, "Please God fix this." For goodness sake, I had just bought a book of stamps so if for nothing else, I wanted my Disney villains back.

I first searched all the buggy drop offs. My mind was so scattered that I couldn't even remember where I had parked my van just ten minutes ago. Luckily, an employee, who was about to gather up the carts and take them inside, offered his assistance. He said this was the first time that day he was outside, so no carts had been returned to the store yet. When my wallet wasn't found outside he advised me to go inside. He said, "Maybe someone turned it in."

As I walked into the store my cell phone rang. It was my dad. "Where are you?" he said, "They have your wallet." An employee had called my family since the membership card with my mom's name on it was in the front pocket. Someone had in fact turned my wallet in. My dad told me to calm down, but I felt like I already had a good handle on that.

I went inside to retrieve my wallet and was very appreciative of the service I received. Everyone was so nice and happy for me to be getting my item back. I checked inside and everything, including my credit cards, stamps and lucky buck were still in place. Some good Samaritan took the time to take my wallet into the store so it could be safely retrieved. I don't know if I left it in my cart or dropped it on the ground but whatever happened - a kind, anonymous soul truly saved the day. He/she didn't know me or my circumstances but took the time to make a difference and for that I am humbled.

So you may be asking, why didn't I have a purse that day? First of all, I am not really a purse person. If you see me with a purse it is probably one my mom bought for me. Her philosophy - a woman never leaves a house without lipstick or a purse. I almost never follow that philosophy so I am a disgrace to the ladies of a more elegant generation. I once had a lovely purse, back when I was in high school. It was grey and was made out of tapestry fabric. It held my Hershey Kiss lip gloss and a small beaded bag for loose change. When someone took my purse one fateful day, I swore off purses for life. Nothing could ever replace that beautiful bag and I set myself up for a lifetime of lost keys and Chapstick tubes.

While the purse story did not have a happy ending, the wallet story did. This event was a red flag that I need to slow down a little and always carry a purse. Maybe a Coach bag is just what I need to get my life on track? Is there a script for that?

Rare photo of me carrying a purse

                                             

Thanks, Jimmy...

I was sad to hear of the passing of Jimmy Beaumont over the weekend. If the name does not ring a bell to the under 40 crowd, I understand. He fronted a band which had their biggest hit in 1959. But along with his Skyliners, they provided the soundtrack for my childhood and important moments that I will forever treasure.

Growing up in the 70's, our house was always filled with music.  At a young age, my palate was wet with the sounds of my parents' favorites, Johnny Mathis, Tom Jones, Engelbert Humperdinck...Yeah, those were good times, pussycat. As we got older, my brother and I would roll our eyes and moan when those 8 tracks would go in the car before a road trip, but I think my exposure to the ''oldies" fostered my love for The Beatles, which exists to this day.

My dad has a good friend who was a DJ. He would create specialty 8 track tapes just for my dad with songs he liked. There was a Skyliners tape which got so much play I cannot believe it didn't wear out. This was the tape we would listen to when my dad and I would dance together in our living room. "Since I Don't Have You", "This I Swear" and  "Where Have They Gone" were good slow numbers for daddy/daughter dances. Of course, "Pennies From Heaven" was a favorite of my brother and I, who could sing along to the catchy tune...'every time it rains it rains - pennies from heaven. Don't you know each cloud contains - pennies from heaven.'

At the time I did not know Jimmy was local.  It was quite a surprise to find out later that he lived about 5 minutes from our house! One day while playing with my best friend across the street I met one of her school pals who was Jimmy's daughter. I was star struck! I could not believe I was talking to someone who was related to one of the biggest names in our house, besides Terry Bradshaw and Sylvester Stallone.

Upon reading stories since his death, I have learned a few things about this beloved crooner. When Jimmy and his band were invited to perform with Dick Clark's  Caravan of Stars, a New York audience was surprised that this band, with a doo-wop sound, was a white band. (They were the only white group to ever top the Cashbox R&B chart.)  Also, Jimmy was only 18 when he wrote the music for "Since I Don't Have You", which is the song I chose for my father/daughter dance at my wedding. The lyrics were penned by a friend, who would later become the band's manager, dealing with his girlfriend's decision to go to school out of state.

Although my taste in music veered a little off the oldies path, now that I am older, I love hearing those old songs now. I love the memories that come rushing back of a little girl in her frilly nightgown and slippers dancing  around the living room to Jimmy's high falsetto voice, which predated Frankie Valli, the Bee Gees and, in more modern times, Joey McIntyre from New Kids on the Block.

My father said Jimmy had been sick for a while, but according to Internet reports, he was still performing as recently as last month. He died in his sleep in his home in McKeesport. I am sad that I never got to tell Jimmy how much his music meant to me over the years.

 People who have been made famous through their music seem to have that unreliable sense of immortality that continues to fail us. But one comforting element, for those who have come to appreciate the musicianship of these artists, we are only a click away from pulling up one of their hits thanks to the wonder of technology. Hearing their voice, loud and clear, making it seem like they never left us.

I wish I could pop in my dad's 8 track tape and hear a Skyliners' hit the way we used to, but for now, I'm off to search YouTube.   If it rains today and I find something shiny on the ground, I'll know who is responsible.

   

KB and Dad dancing to "Since I Don't Have You"

You Saved How Much?

There is just something about a man dressed in a suit -or even just a sport coat and slacks. (Do people still even use that word...slacks? ) My husband does not have the opportunity or need to get dressed up very often which means a limited wardrobe in this department. So this past weekend meant - shopping spree!

I usually go online and shop that way but there was not enough time. We had a wedding to go to and even though we knew about it for awhile,  the opportunity for both of us to go out and find an outfit never happened. I, luckily have an arsenal of dresses to fall back on but my man needed an updated ensemble.

I remember the very first time my husband and I went clothes shopping decades ago. We were only boyfriend and girlfriend at the time, and we went to Montgomery Ward at Greengate Mall to rack up the charges on his credit card. It was a painful experience. He couldn't make up his mind and it took forever. Funny part about it - we were also heading to a wedding and he needed a dress shirt. We got a few other things too, but it ended up being a long day.

Online shopping makes things so easy now, which makes actually going to a store even less enjoyable for me. Unless...you go to a store that is having one of their bi-annual biggest sales ever. No coupons needed. Just me, a list with sizes and of course, my carde de credit. That's French for plastic money. Luckily, my sister joined me to occupy my youngest who was under the weather.

Almost everything in the store was on sale! (20, 30, 40% off. ) I only paid full price for one item and I decided to suck it up since my first thought was - I could find this somewhere else for less for sure. But the time I saved was worth the price I paid. I got pants. I got shoes. I got a belt and a shirt. I wasn't keeping a running total in my head, but I knew I had saved a nice chunk of money. Plus, I had a gift card. Win-Win!

I know it sounds a little old fashioned but I was proud to be out shopping for my husband. Yes, I would be lying if I said I didn't want to be spending the time getting a little somethin' somethin' for this ol' gal but hey, I knew I would benefit from the eye candy that would be coming my way. I don't get to see the Matthew McConaughey Lincoln Continental side of my husband that often so I was all in.

Upon check out, I found out I saved $104.10! Can you believe it? I felt like I just won the penny slot machine at Rivers Casino. Then I discovered I had earned future bucks for my next shopping experience. My circuits were overwhelmed. I forgot to use my gift card and only realized it after the purchase was complete. I became "that lady" and asked if the cashier could apply it anyway, which meant voiding my purchase and starting over. Yeah, I know she was irritated and I know the people in line were irritated, but I wasn't letting my simple gaffe ruin the satisfaction of savings. I let the ice cold stares bounce right off my warm heart of cha-ching.

So, fairy tale ending - everything fit and looked perfect. He even liked the newfangled belt with the flat front instead of the buckle. The shoes were good too, even though I went with a wide width instead of regular. Then I told him about the savings and the gleam in his eye said it all - this gal got it going on.

It has been almost 20 years since our first shopping experience and we are about to celebrate 18 years since the dressiest day in our lives. I am still happy to be 'cleaning up nice' with this guy after all this time. Here's to more fancy occasions and opportunities to make him look good.