Finding Your Happy

365 days….

It seems much longer than 365 days. It seems like years - decades.

On March 13th, 2020, I left the school where, only three months prior, I had been hired. The students would not return until 10 months later. No one saw that coming.

I am still trying to make sense of a year that had so many ups and downs. I am sure we all can agree, our lives will never be the same. 

Ten months later, we still walk around wearing masks at work, at the store, in church. I keep my distance from people when speaking to them and I refrain from any hugging or touching - for the most part. Occasionally, my mom will come in for the sneak attack hug. She has the philosophy that if it's her time it's her time. But as a rule, I only hug my immediate family. 

At my school, the students started coming back a few weeks ago. The return was staggered to allow students and staff to get adjusted to the new social-distanced learning. Two weeks ago, marked the return of the students I worked with before the world stopped. These kids are now 1st graders and while not all of them have chosen to come back in person there are quite a few familiar faces. 

I had only worked with them for a few months so for the most part these kids see me now and while there is a slight glimmer of recognition we didn’t have a lot of time to build a relationship. There were a few kids I worked with on a regular basis and those I have not yet seen. But last week, when I walked into the cafeteria for my assigned lunch duty I was spotted by someone who was genuinely happy to see me. 

I think we saw each other at the same time. But it was her arms waving frantically in the air that really got my attention. I was so happy to see this little girl  again and I immediately went over to say hello. This kid is one of those people who smiles with her whole face and since it was lunchtime, when the kids can take their masks off, I got the full experience.

Her joy is contagious and I missed that. With all the gloom and sadness of the past year, it was nice to see someone genuinely HAPPY. Happy to be in school. Happy to be at lunch. Happy to be with her friends. Just a whole bunch of happy!

After we caught up, I realized I recognized a few of her classmates. I said hello and they were more guarded than “Little Miss Sunshine'' but that was ok too. One little boy said, “I know you” then gobbled up another bite of lunch. 

I went back to my corner of the cafeteria. My eyes kept finding their way over to her table. Seeing her made me realize just how different things are this year. A table, which used to seat nine kiddos, now accommodates only two. There are stickers on the seats, spaced six feet apart, where kids can sit and there is a lot of leaning in order to communicate with fellow classmates.

The once chaotic environment is much more subdued and the kids are encouraged to stay in their seats after getting their meal. The garbage cans are brought to them once their meals are finished. 

At the end of this school day, a day that is two hours shorter than last year, I was standing in the hall as dismissal began. I watched as the first graders came down to board their buses. And once again, there was Little Miss Sunshine. This time she was all bundled up with a furry hood framing her face. Her electric smile was concealed by a mask but her eyes said it all. 

Her “happy” made me happy and for that I was truly grateful. We, as adults, can get bogged down with the weight of it all but we have to find our “happy”. Things are so different from how they once were but there are plenty of reasons to be happy and sometimes we just need a little reminder to smile.