Operation Sixteen Candles

 

It was only a matter of time. 

We knew the risks but also yearned for some normalcy for our children. So, we put on our best smiles, sent the kids off and hoped for the best. Everything seemed to be going fine and then, just like that, multiple high school activities put on hold thanks to covid-19.

Here were my daughter's choices: get a nose swab or quarantine for 14 days. She may or may not have been exposed to the virus while at a recent rehearsal. But what happens when your 16th birthday and party fall during that 14-day period? You sigh and prepare to scramble once again for a Plan B or even C - something we've all been doing since March. 

I'm getting good at scrambling but not so good I don't feel guilt. Guilt that I let my better judgement get away from me. Guilt that I let the party planning get this far. Guilt that, once again, I cannot protect her from disappointment. 

With my oldest son it was easy.  A few months ago, he was a graduating senior. Plan Bs were coming together before our very eyes in the final weeks of school. Everything prior to that had been cancelled: the musical, concerts, senior breakfast. But he was ok with (yes, I'll say it) the new normal. He didn't want all the hoopla attached to those rite of passage events. He was fine with scaled down, low key and under the radar. 

My daughter on the other hand is like me - wants what has been expected. Wants the pomp and circumstance of it all. Wants to be the center of the universe on her 16th birthday. You only turn 16 once, right? She wanted the party - wanted to be surrounded by a few of her friends. (You know, still mindful of social distance.) Wanted, in this crazy world we live in, to put aside all the madness and just be a kid without all the worries that come with it right now -masks, online learning and lack of stability. 

I am unable to deliver her one simple wish.

Looking back, I don't really remember my 16th birthday.  My mom tells me all I wanted to do was spend the day at Kennywood. Although I don't remember this day of August fun 30 years ago,  I do remember what was waiting for me when I came home. I remember going up to my bedroom and seeing a new television - already set up and turned on. Up to this point, I did not have a television in my room. This was a game changer. This electronic device allowed me to watch MTV whenever I wanted especially on Sunday nights when the alternative music show 120 Minutes was on past midnight!

Like me, my daughter will not be getting her license right at 16 so, there has to be something special to overshadow that fact. I've been going a little overboard furnishing her new bedroom - new sheets here, a desk there - oh wait, a new comforter. I just feel so helpless that buying things is all I can do.

When my grandmother turned 16, she had already dropped out of school to get a cleaning job to help support her family. This was during the depression. She gave her paycheck to her father, wishing she could buy the things a teenage girl longs for - stockings, makeup, clothes. Once in a while, after a day of cleaning, she would come home with things of little value, like knee-high stockings, which she would put on in secret so her parents wouldn't see, to allow her a few secret moments to feel - like a kid. 

I don't know what to do at this point. It is hard for me because in the grand scheme of things, a missed party isn't all that big of a deal. (Especially when you hear my grandmother's story!) But if we were talking about turning 15 or 17 it wouldn't even be an issue. If in 30 years, all my daughter remembers about this milestone birthday is how happy she was with the new stuff she got for her bedroom, I guess that isn't all that bad. Heck, I associate my 16th birthday with a new television. 

But I am not one to back down from a challenge. Covid, you may have me backed in a corner but I will not let you win. I'll do my best to let my girl have a special day no matter what it takes - I've learned from the best and now it's time to put my planning skills to the test. Operation Sixteen Candles - Let's go!

Nora's 16th birthday 9/18/14

The Feeling is Virtual

Well, it's over. 

Summer's timer has dinged and the fun is almost done.

My three kids are now all back at school and boy does that look different. They are all learning from home. My oldest son is taking college classes in the basement. My daughter and youngest son are doing their school work from the dining room and upstairs bedroom. This is unlike any beginning of a new school year we've experienced - ever. 

Yes, there is an adjustment all the way around. But for a moment, I would like to talk about the teachers. Now that I work in a school, I see what has been happening. Things that have been happening behind the scenes for weeks, if not months. The only analogy I can think of is a magician who pulls the tablecloth off of a table and all the dishes are left in their places. But for teachers, the tablecloth was yanked away and everything they ever knew went with it - and they were left to pick up the pieces. 

I guess that analogy can pretty much be used for any of us right now - parents, students, school administrators just trying to do their best to keep everyone safe and wishing that we could just go back to the way things were. I think we all realize how far off we are from that possibility.

But back to the teachers, many of them are having to prepare recorded lessons or even attempt to deliver live lessons online. The majority of them are using technology they knew existed but didn't have to really concern themselves with. Now they are trying to appear like they have taught like this for years. Yes, that magician would be so helpful right now. 

We parents have not been privy to this intimate view of our children's education and for educators, it is scary to greatly expand your audience. But from what I've seen so far, these people have upped their game and plan to see this year through giving it their best shot. This year may look different but the dedication to students remains the same. 

I was pushed out of my comfort zone this past April when I had to teach Sunday school lessons using Zoom. When you do a lesson on Zoom you have to be fully prepared. Prepared for technology issues, prepared to talk because people on the other end are reluctant to participate, prepared to watch and hear yourself - which sometimes is hard since we are our own worst critics - prepared for criticism on how we can do better.

Some school districts were criticized at the end of the 2019-2020 school year because there wasn't more offered to the students. More interaction, more materials, more support. But keep in mind, we were all thrown into the deep end of the swimming pool and we all were trying to stay afloat. 

Not all school districts are created equal and some already had technology in the hands of their students that they could use. Others had to get and distribute what devices they could and supplies across the country were limited because of the great demand.

But now, everyone is in agreement things have to be better in education all across the board. And from what I've seen in the days I've been back to work, everyone is taking their responsibility very seriously. There is too much at stake. Parents are taking classes on how to use the technology. Students are Facetiming friends to make sure they have the correct links to their Meet times and assignments. Everyone is taking it one day at a time because trying to plan ahead is now a job reserved exclusively for the man upstairs. 

So please, if you see a teacher, know a teacher, love a teacher - tell them they are appreciated and doing a great job. Let's help them help our kids.