I turned around and there was a quick motion from the side of my eye that seemed to indicate he was there. The feeling caught me off guard and I had to tell myself it wasn't real. It was my imagination working overtime.
We put our beagle, Albert, to sleep three years ago on December 15. He had started having seizures and in two months his mobility had deteriorated quickly. I cannot believe it has been three years already. Some days it seems like it has been even longer or even that our time with him was just a dream.
I think I started having these thoughts about our dog a few weeks ago when I stumbled upon a box of old photos. Looking at pictures when my kids were little and Albert was less gray and more feisty rekindled thoughts of a simpler time.
There were photos from our oldest's first snow and Albert playing in the yard. There were photos of Albert on the floor curled on a blanket with our middle child and on the couch watching TV. The best one is when Albert was reluctantly posing wearing reindeer antlers for the holiday photo.
Not long after the trip down memory lane, our oven broke. We were in a scramble to get a replacement before Thanksgiving and had to clean the area where the new appliance would go. Pulling the broken down oven away from the wall unearthed 14 years worth of stuff...there were pieces of toys, magnets, pens, coins and old dog biscuits.
We would always give Albert a treat when he came in from outside. We would toss them on the floor for him to retrieve and there was many a time when the treat found its way out of reach. Our poor aim was evident from the biscuit graveyard under the stove.
It made me stop and think how weird it is that so much time has gone by. There are still days I think I'll see him at the top of the stairs when I get home or that he will jump up on the table to grab a quick morsel of food before getting caught.
We had planned on getting another pet shortly after putting Albert to sleep. That didn't happen because we eventually decided to make some home improvements and get new carpeting and a new couch. It was nice to not have dog hair to clean up. It was nice to not have to corral a dog every time we had company or make arrangements for him when we went away. Still we had planned on opening our home to a furry friend once again.
I thought a few months ago we were close to making that commitment. A friend had a dog that needed a new environment and my husband and I thought our family might be a perfect fit. We went to meet the dog on a Saturday morning and spent some time getting to know him.
Unfortunately, it just wasn't meant to be. He needed a place to run, which we do have, but not to the extent he was used to. He needed to not be in a crate during the day which we would have had no choice but to do considering our work schedules.
There is also the other aspect to consider. I don't know if there will ever be another dog as perfect as our dog was for us. I see pictures of puppies and yes, I would like to take one in, but I still don't think my heart is ready. I've gotten used to not having Albert around but I think the sorrowful experience of watching him take his final breath might have rendered me incapable of going through that experience again.
It makes me happy to know that we had the best dog the first time around. And who knows, once my three kiddos are grown and on their own maybe my heart will be ready to take that leap of love with a new furry friend. But for now, I have great memories of our dear Albert Von Pupsley. I'm sure when our 14 year old fridge finally breaks, we'll smile once again when we find a few more treats our careless aim put just out of his reach.
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| Nicholas and Albert 2003 |
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