I mean yeah, I've seen video on the 6 o'clock news of people in Sewickley, Fawn Township and Murrysville dealing with the pesky creatures. But at my home, a little further south, not a wide eyed bug around.
Now don't get me wrong. I am not complaining! I didn't want to see them face to face. But after all the hype for weeks leading up to this? The cicadas are coming! The cicadas are coming! Team coverage at 6. I feel a little left out. I don't remember anyone saying there may be some here, there may be some there but you will not find them everywhere. (Major Dr. Seuss vibe there.)
I even saw the video of a TV reporter "eating" one. You may have seen it too and I have my doubts. It happened so fast. The reporter, John Shumway from KDKA-TV, had one on his hand and popped it in his mouth. Yuck! Not on my hungriest day would I eat a bug. Not covered in cheese. Not covered in chocolate and not even with a side of Heinz, mind you, ketchup.
Funny thing is I never heard about cicadas until 2004. My oldest was two and we were driving from our home in Virginia to my brother's place in Maryland. Prior to this trip, I had seen a few around our neighborhood, due to the emergence of Brood X, but nothing major. While stuck in traffic, on I-95, things got biblical. I mean cicadas were bouncing off the windows buzzing around. There was a swarm enveloping the vehicle. It was scary. Here I was, a new mommy, and I was wondering if these flying nuisances would be able to get in the car through the vents and harm my baby.
Luckily, once traffic started moving, we left the swarm behind us, never to see a cicada again. Until now. And this time, only on TV.
It is funny that my son was born during a cicada year and, every 17 years, he will celebrate this weird little ritual of them emerging to find a mate. The next time this will happen he'll be 34 and I'll be, well, that's a little too much math for today.
I've always kind of admired people who got excited about bugs. I mean there are so many different kinds, with different features and purposes. It really is fascinating. But once they start moving or flying my fascination ends. Not so fast bug, this is my house and you and your creepy ways aren't welcome.
The other morning one of those ridiculous thousand leggers was spotted on my daughter's wall. Now, over the years, I have become more respectful of creepy crawlies, stink bugs and 'piders', as my former college roommate's baby cousin used to call them. I have begun capturing them and releasing them outdoors. "Carpe diem, Bug!"
This is a huge development for a girl who used to command her younger brother to "KILL IT!" when an invader crossed her path while riding her Hot Wheels bike. But for those fast moving centipedes, there is no way to capture them first. They are too fast and I just envision one getting on me and then I'll die instantly.
My daughter was in a panic and I said, "Just close your door until dad gets home." But she was running late for school and needed to gather the rest of her things. It was do or die time. I took this as a teachable moment to show my daughter what "Girl power" is all about.
"I got this," I thought to myself, hesitantly. So I grabbed my husband's shoe and went it for the kill. I may have told her she owed me big time. I don't remember. Heck, I hadn't even had coffee yet.
First, I stared it down. Then we exchanged a few words, probably something like, "You've messed with the wrong middle aged lady thousand legger" and then, as I uttered my best kiai - martial arts yell that contracts the diaphragm and chest and allows you to put tons of energy behind the strike, helping to focus on the moment of impact - and boom, it was smooshed to bits.
My daughter thanked me and was able to get out the door on time.
Now back to the cicadas. I guess the season is winding down and we will all be able to return to our regular lives. But until then, I am keeping my eyes peeled, just to be prepared to run for cover if I see one. I am happy I do not live in the epicenter for the current invasion. The car ride I took 17-years-ago, exposed me enough for a lifetime.
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