Put the Pedal to the Metal

Do you remember that feeling you used to get, or still get, while waiting in line to ride a roller coaster? That scared, butterflies in your stomach kind of feeling that makes you want to run as fast as you can far far away from the line and the crowds?

Well, I've been experiencing that feeling every day for the past week. I have started letting my 16-year-old drive to his younger brother's elementary school each day for the afternoon pick up. Prior to last week, the driving lessons have been done exclusively by my husband. He is a patient, very Zen person who is an excellent teacher. I have been on the side lines, for good reason, keeping my emotional, impatient self in the back seat. 

My son got his permit in November and due to the shorter daylight time, lessons have been primarily on the weekends. But I wanted to give him more consecutive driving time so the afternoon pick up seemed logical.

I am not a good teacher, but I try to emulate my husband's calm example, which results in me sounding like an episode of The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. "Get ready to make a happy little turn." "Make the gas pedal your friend."

I really surprise myself with my calm delivery while uttering phrases like "stop sign" or "slow down". In my head I'm repeating my mantra "How Would Bob Say It?" or "Be like Bob." (I could be referring to the painter or my husband.) The latter helps me because I turn it into a parent competition and I want to be just as good if not better.

For the most part, my son is doing really well. His trouble areas right now seem to be actually starting the car and knowing which direction to cut the wheel when pulling out of the driveway. Both trouble areas manifested themselves on the very first school run. I wanted to order him out of the car right then and there but my mantra "What Would Bob Do?" came into play and with a deep breath I encouraged him to turn the key all the way, cut the wheel to the right and pull out of the driveway. From there his performance was nearly flawless. 

I know that my demeanor has a huge impact on my son's performance. Having kids puts things in perspective for me in terms of analyzing my behavior and how it can affect my kiddos. My little guy has had anxiety each day before going to school this year. Am I sick of dealing with the broken record of "I hate school," "I don't want to go," "My tummy hurts?" Yes, I am. So I have my little freak out in my bedroom before I emerge like Mary Poppins singing songs and using my best distraction tactics to get him out the door.

For my oldest, I know the stakes are a little higher. I know if he senses my stress or trepidation, it could affect his performance on the road, which could result in an accident. Yes, I'll try to keep it in check.

These daily trips have been good therapy for me actually, in being my best most patient self on the outside even though I am going a little crazy on the inside. The other day, I did something my son did not like. I decided to say a prayer before we departed. I meant to start this tradition on the first day of afternoon pick ups but I forgot. So when I told him to bless himself, so I could ask for divine guidance, he said in typical teen fashion, "Wow! Just wow. I must be really bad if we need to start praying before I drive." Obviously this was not my motivation, but I had to smooth things over fast."I'm not so much praying for you as I am praying for the rest of the drivers out there. You know there are quite a few nuts on the road." (Me included.)

He didn't let my spontaneous prayer affect his confidence and once again he did a great job. I try not to really think about the stone cold fact that I am a passenger in a car that my first born is driving - the fact I am old enough to have a teen in a car driving - that one day he will ask to use our car....

I have heard from others that this process does get easier. (By the time my youngest is learning to drive, I'll have been through the teen driving experience twice, so I'm sure I'll be cool as a cucumber.) But as of now, we have 50+hours to clock before getting a driver's license can even be discussed. We have parallel parking to conquer, night driving and the three point turn. 

As Bob Ross once said, "Talent is a pursued interest. Anything you’re willing to practice, you can do.” My son will keep practicing driving and I will keep practicing patience. Yes, there will be bumps along the road but I hope when he looks back on this time he will someday realize the conscious effort I made to be the best imitation of myself - not the me I am, but the me he needed.   

Grampy giving one-year-old Nick his first driving lesson.