Well, in actuality my parents were rarely mad at me because I was the classic first born. Cautious, smart, motivated. My fear of making a mistake or getting in trouble kept me from going off book. I did my homework without being asked. I had like minded friends. I steered clear of bad things. Yes, I was a parents' dream.
But I imagine things would have been a little harder on my parents if I had had a cell phone. During my teen years, my mother especially was vigilant, keeping tabs on my phone conversations. But looking back, she had it easy. It is hard to plan covert operations when the phone cord could only go so far and oftentimes I would hear my mother breathing - she would listen in on the phone in her room.
Nowadays, no such luck. These kids have cell phones and conversations are happening without any barriers. The texting is even worse because conversations can be happening without parents knowing. Messages can be deleted, erased from existence. No trace or indication of bad things that might be brewing.
My generation is at a huge disadvantage. We are the first to have to navigate through these murky waters and there is no playbook. We no longer have a landline in our home, which in some ways has contributed to the problem. My kids will never have to say Keleschenyi Residence when answering a phone tethered to the wall and will never have to write down a message for either my husband or I.
There are communication skills being lost and sometimes I notice my kids don't even know how to talk into a phone. I have pointed this out to them, but I still get disconnected from my daughter multiple times when I talk to her because she cannot properly hold a phone. Ugh!!
While their phone etiquette is frustrating, it is really the least of my concerns. My kids take their phones to school. With everything that has been going on in schools across the country, it is nice to know they're only a text away.
Last year, there was a fight in the cafeteria on a day he was not allowed to take his phone to school. I was consumed with worry as there was not much information being disseminated. I could not wait to see him get off the bus. I regretted my phone decision that day.
My daughter, in junior high, keeps her phone in her locker for fear of having it spotted by a teacher and taken away. My oldest, at the senior high, keeps his on his person. Some of the high school teachers allow students to go on their phones if there is extra time at the beginning/end of class or if there is a substitute. He uses it at lunch to play games, listen to music and browse the web. This is usage I cannot keep track of and it is scary. He wanted a new phone for Christmas so he could play games with his friends, while eating his Italian dunkers, that his current phone does not support. Nope.
Don't get me started on social media. Kids create screen names and I don't know who they are. (My brain can barely remember people's real names.) We have tried to monitor this as well but, in this case, it is rocket science. I feel like a salmon swimming upstream in a tech charged pool and I am drowning. I don't know how to protect my kids from predators who may lurk in the invisible 4G web. I don't remember The Jetson's covering this topic.
My husband and I check texts, that are not deleted, we limit phone time and computer time at home, but there are ways around our vigilance and our oldest son, especially, knows that. Since I am not tech savvy, I am behind the 8 ball from the start. I long for the days of old with landlines and answering machines. Wait for the beep.
I would love to be able to stifle my breath as I hold a receiver that I'm listening in on. Bottom line, I just want to protect my kids and teach them to proceed with caution. (Classic first born.) There are so many amazing things about how far technology has come since my teen years, but I didn't know a background in computer programming would be a prerequisite to get through my parenting years.
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