A Day in the Life

 
"Death and life. And death and life. Right next door to each other! There's like, there's a hair between them. "

That is a quote from one of my favorite movies, "Elizabethtown". Two guys are in a hotel room hallway, where a party is taking place. They literally run into each other and after they introduce themselves, we learn one of them is about to get married and the other is about to bury his father.

Death and life. And life and death.

My husband and I use this quote often because there are many instances where this happens throughout our journey. One door opens and another closes. One chapter ends and another begins. But this quote was in full effect a few weeks ago when in the span of ten minutes my joy turned to tears.

I was lying in bed at the home of some friends in Houston, Texas. My husband and I travelled there for a quick Memorial Day weekend getaway. Because of the hour time difference, I was up a little earlier than usual and, of course, had to catch up on my social media. Scrolling through the posts I learned my son's best high school friend gave birth to her first child. The little one was not due until June but decided to arrive a few days early.

The post filled me with joy as I learned, in the course of a few hours, a couple became a family. A mom became a grandma. Brothers became uncles. We had just attended the baby shower and it was such a lovely day of joy and anxious anticipation. No one knew if it would be a boy or a girl. The post announced that a boy had entered the world and "he is perfect!"

I nudged my sleepy husband, and I told him the news. He smiled and said, "Yay!" I told him he would have said that if it was a girl too. He rubbed his eyes and got out of bed. I decided to crawl back under the covers and see what else was going on in Facebook land. There were tons of wonderful graduation pictures and the usual tons of ads but then I saw a post that stopped me in my tracks. "How do you say goodbye to your hero?"

These words were written by a schoolmate of mine about his dad who had passed away just hours before. I was instantly brought to tears.  I ran into this friend just the week before at a local ice cream store. I hadn't seen him in over a year at least. Our families had been going to the same church and we would see each other there. My dad and his dad went to high school together and then, as their families grew, us kids ended up going to Catholic school together.  Our families have known each other for a long time.

Recently, my dad was talking about his friend, Joe, and told me he really wanted to go visit him. I told him he should but since our families had lost touch I really didn't know if he was up to having a visitor that wasn't a close relative.  Joe had been placed in hospice and we hadn't seen him in a long time. A few days after this conversation with my dad, I ran into Joe's son. I didn't think it was random. I felt it was for a reason. He said his dad would love a visit and told me to encourage my dad to go.

My dad didn't waste any time. After I gave him the room information he went to see Joe the next day. In the evening, I got a call from my dad to give me the recap of the visit. He said it was great and the two had a wonderful time catching up on the kids and grandkids. 

Joe's hearing wasn't the best, but he had a device that would translate what my dad would say and print it out on a screen. It helped facilitate the conversation and no one missed a beat. Joe said that he liked to pass the time by reading mystery books and my dad said he would bring him some new books the next time he stopped.

Within one week Joe passed away. It seems to me God was working behind the scenes to get these old friends together before it was too late. I know my dad would have deeply regretted not seeing Joe before he died. I am overwhelmed by how a random meeting at an ice cream store was not so random after all. I am humbled by my small role in the last days of Joe's life.

Death and life and life and death.  These events unite us throughout our journey on Earth. And sometimes these events bring us together in ways we cannot predict.

  *My blog is featured in The Valley Mirror each week in the On My Mind column. The Valley Mirror Newspaper covers the Steel Valley and Woodland Hills communities.

 

 

                                                    

The Bed The Bear Likes

 

How often you do this depends on who you ask.

Some say every five to seven years. Some say eight. Some say ten. There is no magic number.  But one number that is not thrown around is 25. A mattress is not supposed to last 25 years.

My husband had moved to Virginia before our wedding.  He got a new job but I was unable to join him right away. We picked up a few pieces of furniture from his sister who lives in Maryland with a U-Haul we rented to move him to his new apartment. She had three things to give him, a couch, a bed and an ottoman. That's all you need to get started, right?

His sister's mattress was temporary. New marriage. New bed. I remember shopping for our first bed because it was our first huge purchase. We started our search in a mattress warehouse type store, and it was overwhelming from the start. So many choices! It was sensory overload from the minute we crossed the threshold.

We hadn't even bounced on a bed yet before a saleswoman started talking us up. We proceeded to thoroughly explain our situation. We were young and naive and didn't know we could use the phrase 'we're just browsing'. It didn't take long before she uttered a sentence that would stay with us for two decades of marriage. There was a large bed advertisement poster near where we were standing and she said, "This is the bed the bear likes."

In the poster, there was a large brown bear laying on bed. I guess the message was since bears are in the business of sleep, during their hibernation period, they would know what a good bed was.

But here is the weird part. She said that to us in all seriousness. She didn't let out a chuckle after she told humans to choose the bed an animal would pick. She said her line and expected us to say wrap it up we'll take it. I looked at my then fiancé, but we hadn't been together long enough to have a look that conveys everything without saying a word. I think we told our salesperson we wanted to keep looking and that we were only on our first stop.

We ended up splurging on the bed we finally picked, and I remember signing up for the financing - zero interest if we paid if off within a year. We had never bought anything that cost more than $100 and it seemed very daunting to try and pay $1000 off in twelve months. We had no idea that bed would last us 25 years. If you break it down it's $40 a year. Not a bad price at all.

Until a few months ago, we thought we were keeping our bed for another 25 years. The box spring was in bad shape but the mattress was doing just fine.. that is despite being moved to six different dwellings throughout the decades of our marriage. A few months ago, my husband and I noticed we were waking up feeling sore. Based upon the state of our box spring, we knew it was time to get another mattress.

We went to a nearby department store and visited their mattress section. We laid on so many mattresses it was hard to keep track. There is so much to choose from and there are a lot of foam pillow tops these days. When you have a mattress that has lasted two decades, we wanted to find something similar to last the next two. We went from bed to bed until we found the one we thought could stand the test of time.

Our new bed was delivered last week. I was not home at the time of delivery and that was a good thing. I am very sentimental these days and I bet I would have cried 

when they took the old bed away. My husband had the new bed made up when I got home from work. It looked nice but sleeping in it would be the true test.

 

A week in, I am not convinced this bed is the one for us. It seems a little firm for my taste but who knows. Maybe some time is all it will take to adjust and since we are hoping for another 25-year run, I think we just have to take it day by day.

 *My blog is featured in The Valley Mirror each week in the On My Mind column. The Valley Mirror Newspaper covers the Steel Valley and Woodland Hills communities.