It seems crazy that a tradition which dates back centuries still exists. For a middle-aged married lady, such as myself, it is not that big a deal anymore. But for a youngster, who has never had a valentine outside of the family, this February has been a big deal.
A few weeks ago, after school, my youngest told me he had a Valentine and a date to the in-school Valentine's Dance. He was pretty excited when he told me the news. A girl in his grade, who was too shy to ask him personally, had a mutual friend of theirs do the honors.
He said yes.
He had never mentioned this girl before so I wondered why he was so quick to agree. He explained, “Because she asked.”
Ok, I thought. Pretty benign - a normal 5th grade romance. I tried to make it seem like I was super cool with the whole thing. I even avoided bringing up the topic for fear I would add fuel to the fire.
Last week, however, he asked if I wanted to see who this mystery girl was. I said of course. I have cafeteria duty in the morning and since he sometimes comes in for breakfast, he said he could point her out. He came over to me to let me know he would be walking past her and for me to pay attention.
Of course, right at that moment, two 2nd graders spilled their chocolate milk and I was on clean up duty. I was frantically trying to pay attention to my son while cleaning up the milk when all of a sudden things got real.
With my own eyes, I saw my 11-year-old son put his arms around a girl who was sitting at a table. I caught the eyes of the mutual friend who played cupid and I could tell she was just as surprised as me. It was almost as if the wind had been knocked out of me and I had been electrocuted at the same time.
I didn’t know what to feel or how to feel and I couldn’t stop the scene from playing over and over in my head. Where had my little boy gone? Why was he hugging a girl I did not know? How did this advance so fast?
I asked him on the way home from school, when they got to the hugging stage.
He said, “Today.”
I said, “Today was the first time you hugged her? Why?”
He said he didn’t know but “apparently she liked it because every time she saw me after that SHE hugged me.”
Woah, woah, woah. I thought. There is way too much hugging here. But I guess if she is initiating it too, he is not coming on too strong.
You see this is new territory for me. He’s my youngest. My two older children have been focused on their careers and haven’t really made time to date. It figures my youngest would throw me headfirst into the world of kid romances.
I was lamenting to my oldest about the situation and I asked him, “What would make your brother go up to a girl and hug her from behind?”
His reply? “We see dad do that to you all the time.”
Yes, it is true. My husband will come up to me while I’m doing dishes or straightening up the house and put his arms around me and lean his head into mine. I guess if our kid is going to be “learning the moves” it is pretty safe to be picking up “dad moves”.
I know my son can be very thoughtful and I know he is going to make this Valentine’s Day special for his “gal”. His idea is to find out her favorite snack and buy it for her from the cafeteria snack shack. I like where my kid’s head is at. Simple and sweet.
The good thing about the situation it is confined to school. The dance was during the school day, Valentine’s Day will be celebrated at school, and these kids see each other only between class periods. This kind of relationship is perfect for me to get my feet wet in the waters of middle school romance.
Of course, I had to ask an important question. He had been my valentine for the past 11 years. I asked sheepishly, “What about me? Who’s going to be my valentine?”
He replied incredulously, “Dad - it’s in the books since you got married.”
Well, I hope I get something from the snack shack. In case anyone asks, I like Cool Ranch Doritos.
