Help Wanted

I’m sure you’ve seen the signs. 

“We are short staffed. Please be patient with our workers.”

“Please accept our apologies. Temporary hours adjustment.”

“We all quit. Closed!”

Yes, it is a tough time for many businesses struggling to keep running with fewer workers. We can get into a debate about why this is happening but that is not my goal here. We can all agree the current situation is pandemic related and the problem is real. 

My favorite local restaurant just cut back their hours while praising the people that are showing up for their shifts each day. I’ve eaten there twice in recent weeks and the staff has been amazing and my gratuity has reflected that. 

I am not a frequent restaurant goer by any means and personally, while wait times have increased no matter where you go, it hasn’t affected me that much. I am patient and would never complain. Most times I am just happy to be anticipating a meal that I didn’t cook in a place that is not my home.

But my daughter works in the service industry and I know how hard she has been working for minimum wage. She is still new to the employment world and her paycheck and tips continue to be a source of great joy and spending freedom. But there is a lot that goes behind that monetary reward and the stuff she has had to endure, since she started,  gets under my skin.

Many places are hiring whoever walks through the door and appears willing to work. Sometimes the person who shows up for an interview isn't who shows up after they are gainfully employed. My daughter works with a variety of people with a variety of work ethics but for right now a body is better than nobody. 

But what has surprised me the most about her job, is the stories about customers who decide to take out their bad day, frustrations or lack of manners on a teenage kid. She has been called names, treated rudely and spoken to in ways that embarrass me to think about. I know there have always been bad apples out there but to get your panties in a bunch over a cup of coffee and a donut, I personally do not understand. 

Each day she comes home from work, she has a handful of stories about people behaving badly. The good thing about her is that she is still youthful and optimistic. She has even admitted to me, “Mom, for every bad customer there are many more good people.” I love that about her. I would have quit that job a long time ago but the camaraderie she has with her fellow employees helps get her through her shift with a few laughs and a shared bag of tips. 

Now that the procedures have changed at her place of employment, people can now go in and place their order in person. My husband and I stopped in the other day and to see her sweet, smiling face behind the covid plexiglass which filled us with pride. 

How could someone be rude to this delightful, young lady? 

Just the other day, someone threw a bagel at her. No folks, I am not making this up. When I heard this story, I was filled with rage. Luckily, the covid barrier protected her from being hit but her reaction was classic. She just laughed. Her manager took it from there and amazingly reacted much like I would have, chasing the customer down in the parking lot. 

I was thankful for this man and his protective instinct. I was happy she was able to laugh at the situation and realize there was something more going on with this person. Other customers who witnessed the incident reacted with compassion and a short time later someone came through the line and complimented her which gave her a boost of kindness to get her through the next couple hours. 

As I mentioned before, there are far more nice customers than rude and I feel this job is teaching my daughter important customer service skills. I have seen her give big tips while ordering out in solidarity of service workers everywhere. I myself have started using those tip jars that now seem to jump out at me on counters everywhere I go. 

We need to show our appreciation for the people that are showing up, knowing that not every customer is a peach to deal with. We need to especially support the young workers who are getting their first taste of being part of the workforce to encourage them to be good employees and to not get discouraged when people can’t act appropriately. 

We need to be the light to overshadow the darkness that often rears its head over a meaningless iced beverage and a sugar filled pastry

Where You Lead

I feel like I am in the movie Jaws.

I can hear the haunting music in my head.

Da-na. Da-na, Da-na, da-na….

School is starting in one week! Where did the summer go? 

As a teacher’s aide, I start back before the kids and the timing isn’t that great because my first day back is the day after my birthday and that kind of dims any excitement, I have surrounding the 47th anniversary of my Earthly debut. But in all honesty, I know it’s time. 

I like routine and structure and there hasn’t been any of that lately. It took me weeks to get into summer vacation mode and then I was swallowed by a snowball of activity and here we are. August. We've landed in my favorite of all months and I’m still trying to enjoy every last minute. 

It seems a little odd that at this age, I still get revved up about my birthday and for that I blame my parents. They always made our birthdays a big deal and that has spilled over into my adult life and has been sprinkled over my children. You get one day a year that is all your own and during the course of 365 days, that is something to covet. 

I already know where I want my birthday cake to come from and the 100-year-old bakery in McKeesport does it up right. But this year, I wanted something more. I needed something more. I had to get away. 

Sometimes my gut leads me on a path that one wouldn't normally wouldn’t take. You know that little voice in your head that doesn’t go away until you listen? Really listen. Like Kevin Costner in the movie Field of Dreams. “If you build it they will come.” My voice said, “If you book it you will go.” And that is what I did. 

It was killing me that my oldest was traveling out west performing on stages that I couldn’t see. We’ve never missed any of his performances and even though I knew this time would come eventually the Mama Bear in me couldn’t let it go. I wanted to be a part of it. And my inner voice wouldn’t let it go. 

I booked a flight to Green Bay, Wisconsin. Yes, my exotic travel destination was the cheese state, which seems so appropriate for me since I can down a brick of Havarti during an episode of The British Baking Show but don’t judge. I landed in Wisconsin and drove to the Tamburitzans show in Michigan just a few hours away. What in the world did I do?

It all goes back to the voice. It just wouldn’t go away and while the thought of getting on a plane gives me all sorts of anxiety, Facebook provided the salve I needed. I’ve got friends all over the country right now posting photos of their amazing adventures. Louisiana, Alaska, Florida, even Turkey...I added Wisconsin to the list and became the spur of the moment traveler I always knew I could be. 

For some reason, this summer needed a bookend to finish it up right. It has been an emotional journey with one kid leaving home for the first time and another preparing to get her driver’s license. There are so many rites of passage going on, I needed one too. And I am so thankful that my husband simply nodded and said, “Just go."

My favorite television show of all time, Gilmore Girls, has an amazing theme song written by Carole King. One of the lines says, ‘Where you lead, I will follow.” I know I won’t always be able to follow my kids where their life journey takes them. But when it’s possible, I want to be there. Their joy is my joy and since I helped give them their wings. I want to see them fly even if it means leaving my comfort zone and going to unknown lands. (Which for me is the cheese state.)

I’m taking 47 by the horns and making it count because birthdays and summer are things to celebrate. Although my actual birthday will involve me getting ready to go back to work, while eating the most delicious cake in the world, the days leading up to it crossed time zones and state lines helping to leave 46 in the dust. As the author Henry David Thoreau wrote in his book Walden:

“I went to the woods [Wisconsin] because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."

Quitting Ain't Easy

 I am not a quitter. 

I do not quit things unless, well, there is a new dog in the house. A dog that needs lots of attention and training. 

In the past three weeks, let me tell you what I’ve quit. I’ve quit grocery shopping. I’ve quit cleaning. I’ve quit my regular bike rides. For a non-quitter, I sure made quite the list for myself. 

Our rescue dog turned out to be more than we could handle. There were some biting incidents, lots of house accidents and barking spells for no reason. There is hope for him but it won’t be because of us and that makes me sad. But coming from a newly established quitter, it was best for my family to quit this and move on. 

We really wanted this to work but after the first biting incident, which to clarify, was to protect something the dog thought was his, my kids kind of gave up. They didn’t want to be snapped at or bit and just eliminated themselves from the situation. This was hard for my youngest who wanted a buddy most of all. 

But guess what that meant? One person was taking care of the dog and that person was me. That is not what we agreed to when we first talked about this as a family.

I will be starting back to work in a few weeks, when school resumes, and everyone would be needed to help with Mac but with the new element of fear involved, that would be a hard sell. I knew what we had to do and unfortunately that was met with discontent from my husband who fell hard for the dog. 

I get it. The situation is disappointing but it is hard since my spouse and I don’t see eye to eye on this one. But I forget how much dogs mean to him. I mentioned before, growing up, he always had a dog in the house and it has been 5 years since we’ve had one. I think he was really counting on this dog being a permanent member of our family but unfortunately his couple hours of playtime at night weren’t enough to make it doable on my end. 

But here is the part I just can't wrap my head around. It seemed like this was meant to be. Everything worked out so well from the minute we saw Mac’s photo; the application process, then the meet and greet. It was going so smoothly and then his first day here was a disaster. Between the puppy accidents, and the thunderstorm barking and the countless things that were jumped on or went in his mouth. It was a long day for sure. 

The look on my youngest’s face said it all. “What is going on with this dog, Mom?” It was a shock for sure. Not the Normal Rockwell puppy moment we had all expected - the five of us sitting around the dog showering him with affection. Smiling and sharing looks of “Ahhh, this is what we’ve been missing.” By the end of the day, we were dazed and confused. That feeling has only lingered. 

For the past three weeks, we had been living in a bunker. The dog was quarantined to the kitchen and the rest of the place looked like an episode of Hoarders with everything you can imagine; totes, boxes, books piled up to keep Mac out. He is quite the jumper, coming from a trailer he shared with 93 other dogs scrounging for food. 

When we played with him in the yard, he got lots of air underneath him when he jumped for a toy, like one of those show dogs. Twice he made a run and jump for our dining room table and has made it to the top of both of our couches in seconds flat. (Hence the bunker.)

After thoughtful consideration, we decided Mac needs a family that is not us. We are always on the go and with school starting up in a couple weeks, he would be alone a lot more than he is now. He needs someone who can work with him to correct his bad behaviors and after meeting with a dog behavioral specialist, we know those are fixable but only with time. That is something this family doesn’t have much of as we approach a new school year. 

So as a “non-quitter” this experience doesn’t sit well with me but I know in my heart it is for the best. There will be an ah-ha moment I’m sure down the road but until then I will be thankful for the experience that was Mac and pray that he finds the perfect home. The adoption agency we’ve been working with has been very understanding and the dog went back to his foster mom for the time being. 

Even though we weren’t the right family for him, our hearts were in the right place and for a small moment in time, we took care of Mac the best that we could.