You don't realize the moment when someone takes a permanent seat in your life. Twenty six years ago someone entered my world and has stuck around. She and I have been through a lot over the years and as we both approach 40, we only continue to cement our friendship.
Back in 1988, I entered the public school zone after spending eight years in catholic school. I knew very few people and was trying to find my place in the ninth grade world of just over 300 students. It was overwhelming for me to say the least but I did have one person in my corner, Debbie Gibson. Out of the blue she wrote the soundtrack for this 13 year old and set the bar for fashion. Her black hat spoke to me and became the accessory I needed to swim in this sea of electric youth. Only in my dreams could I imagine that this hat would allow me to discover the most loyal friend a girl could have.
Within only a few weeks in the ninth grade world I discovered the many clicks that existed. I did not have the reputation or attractive qualities to penetrate the iron clad walls of the coolest circles. Making observations as an outsider, I did take notice of one girl who I hoped would some day be my friend. To me she was the most interesting person I had ever met. She had an incredible sense of style, she had an eclectic taste in music and her artistic flare predated anything you would find on Pinterest. She already had a lot of friendships which she had cultivated through her grade school and middle school years but THIS optimistic girl (me) hoped she had room for one more.
I remember going to the mall with money I had saved up from my paper route to buy my black hat. Nothing I have purchased since then filled me with the anticipation of such a life changing epiphany . Knowing that once I had this hat and wore it to school I would be "in", looked at with jaws agape and whispers of "look at her, sure wish I had a hat like that."
Because of my shy nature, I was reluctant to wear my hat despite its guarantee of making me the envy of all in my school. I didn't want to completely rock the world of my fellow students, but Debbie gave me encouragement, through her lyrics and awesome videos. I finally overcame my fear and started wearing my hat but frankly my epiphany didn't really happen in the urban setting of my high school. I know I got looks but of the variety of "what is she wearin?" That didn't matter though, because one complement came my way, something to the variety of "I like your hat", that was a game changer.
That compliment was the first ingredient in what would be the recipe for two decades worth of friendship. As she and I approach our 40th birthdays, I just want to let her know how much she has meant to me. I never expected to share the highs and lows of my life with this person as we transitioned from students to wives to mothers. Thank you for sticking with me in this challenging world. Happy Birthday to you my dear friend and remember what Debbie said in her prophetic song Electric Youth, "Oh yeah, it's there - don't underestimate the power of a lifetime ahead." We are gonna rock 40 and this time no black hat is needed.
